Books I Read in 2018

Well I fell off with my monthly updates on my reads. I still want to share my reading list from 2018. My goal was 5 books/month for a total of 60 and I ended up completing 61. Some are shorter than others and I listened to the majority on Audible.

 

My top recommendation on the list is Educated by Tara Westover. My least favorite on the list, which was a true struggle to complete, would be Fire and Fury by Michael Wolff.

 

If you have questions on any of the books, are up for discussing, or want to know if I’d recommend the read, let me know.

 

Here’s the list:

Genre Title Author
Historical Fiction The Nightingale Kristin Hannah
Memoir Extraordinary, Ordinary People Condoleezza Rice
Historical Fiction All the Light We Cannot See Anthony Doerr
Historical Novel Beneath a Scarlet Sky Mark Sullivan
Personal Narrative Fire and Fury:  Inside the Trump White House Michael Wolff
Historical Non-Fiction In My Father’s Words The World War II Letters of an Army Doctor Patricia MacLachlan
Self Development Your Best Year Ever:  A 5 Step Plan for Achieving Your Most Important Goals Ever Michael Hyatt
Historical Fiction Before We Were Yours Lisa Wingate
Personal Narrative, Self Development Extreme Ownership:  How US Navy Seals Lead and Win Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
Biography Black Privilege:  Opportunity Comes to Those who Create It Charlamagne tha God
Fiction Firefly Lane Kristin Hannah
Christian Literature, Self Development Hello Mornings:  How to Build a Grace-Filled, Life-Giving Morning Routine Kat Lee
Historical Fiction The Librarian of Auschwitz Antonio Iturbe
Memoir Educated Tara Westover
Christian Literature, Biography If You Only Knew: My unlikely, unavoidable story of becoming free Jamie Ivey
Autobiography When Breath Becomes Air Paul Kalanithi
Autobiography, Memoir Dreams from My Father  A Story of Race & Inheritance Barack Obama
Biography Girls Like Us Sheila Weller
Non-Fiction The Warmth of Other Suns Isabel Wilkerson
Historical Fiction We Were the Lucky Ones Georgia Hunter
Fiction, Christian Fiction No One Ever Asked Katie Ganshert
Autobiography We’re Going to Need More Wine for this Gabrielle Union
Self Development Kick Ass with Mel Robbins Mel Robbins
Christian Literature, Self Development Girl Wash Your Face Rachel Hollis
Fiction Home Front Kristin Hannah
Slef Development, Christian Literature I’ve Been Thinking:  Reflections, Prayers, and Meditations for a Meaningful Life Maria Shriver
Autobiography Carry On:  A Story of Resilience, Redemption, and an Unlikely Family Lisa Fenn
Autobiography Hillbilly Elegy:  A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis J. D. Vance
Autobiography, Christian Literature The Rock, the Road, and the Rabbi by Rabbi Kathie Lee Gifford
Christian Literature, Self Development Unglued:  Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions Lysa TerKeurst
Fiction The Great Alone Kristin Hannah
Fiction The Hate U Give Angie Thomas
Autobiography Just Mercy Bryan Stevenson
Biography Eunice:  The Kennedy Who Change the World Eileen McNamara
Christian Literature, Biography Kind Is the New Classy Candace Cameron-Bure
Self Development, Christian Literature The Total Money Makeover:  A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness Dave Ramsey
Fiction Winter Garden Kristin Hannah
Christian Literature A Million Little Ways:  Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live by Emily P. Freeman
Autobiography My Life on the Road Gloria Steinem
Autobiography Promise Me, Dad:  A Year of Hope, Hardship, and Purpose Joe Biden
Autobiography Barbara Bush:  A Memoir Barbara Bush
Memoir Night Elie Wiesel
Historical Fiction Dawn Elie Wiesel
Fiction Magic Hour Kristin Hannah
Self Development Women and Money Suze Orman
Non-Fiction All the Real Indians Died Off:  And 20 Other Myths About Native Americans Dina Whitaker and Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz
Autobiography Whisky in a Teacup Reese Witherspoon
Autobiography The Restless Wave:  Good Times, Just Causes, Great Fights, and Other Appreciations John McCain and Mark Salter
Biography 438 Days:  An Extraordinary True Story of Survival at Sea Jonathan Franklin
Fiction Little Fires Everywhere Celeste Ng
Historical Fiction The Tattooist of Auschwitz Heather Morris
Self Development The Happiness Advantage:  The 7 Principles That Fuel Success and Performance at Work Shawn Achor
Historical Fiction Auschwitz Lullaby Mario Escobar
Autobiography, Memoir Becoming Michelle Obama
Fiction Where the Crawdads Sing Delia Owens
Self Development Back to Human:  How Great Leaders Dan Schawbel
Novel, Memoir Amazing Love:  True Stories of the Power of Forgiveness Corrie ten Boom
Autobiography From the Corner of the Oval Beck Dorey-Stein
Historical Fiction The Kitchen House Kathleen Grissom
Biography The Audacity of Hope Barack Obama
Historical Fiction Glory Over Everything:  Beyond the Kitchen House Kathleen Grissom

 

My Reading List: 2018 August Books

The beginning of the month was rather heavy reading so by the end of the month I threw in a couple lighter reads. The all-time-favorite of the month goes to Just Mercy by Bryan Stephenson. It is eye-opening.

 

I started a book club this month. The idea of our club is to all read the same book and discuss virtually. Currently we are using the Bookship Application as the medium to share our thoughts. For the book club, we started with The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas. I can say for my first-go at organizing and leading a book club, I did a poor job. But hey, I did it, so that is a step in the right direction! I love discussing my reads and it is no fun to carry a one-sided discussion at family dinners or happy hours with friends, so I forced my circles into a book club. Fortunately, the ones who participated all love reading and happily joined so there was not too much pressure put on by me.

 

Last thing worth noting this month:  I started listening to audio books with my sons while we are in the car together. I do not want to jinx myself by sharing this information, but it is going REALLY well. The boys fight less, nag less, and whine less since starting The Magic Tree House series. I LOVE how they will stop and ask what words mean or want to discuss the book. Nothing can top their laughter when a ‘funny’ part comes up in the book. We even have some inside jokes we share now from the books. I cannot wait until their attention span is ready to take on longer children’s chapter books. Children’s novels are some of my favorite books. In college Children’s Literature may have been my all-time favorite course.

 

With that, I feel it is only appropriate to conclude with one of my favorite Dr. Seuss quotes, “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” My reading list is a bit random, but I hope it inspires you.

 

The books I read in August and my opinions:

 

2018 August Title, Author, Genre Rating Notes
Kindle The Great Alone, Kristin Hannah, Historical Fiction 4 I cannot stop reading Kristin Hannah books! I love how she brings characters to life and always has multiple themes in her books. This one explores the impact of Vietnam War on a family. The father/husband was a POW and when he returns home suffers from PTSD. This leads the family to explore a new beginning in Alaska. The mother/wife struggles with the challenges of being a woman in the 70s. The primary character is the daughter of this couple, Lenora (Leni). Leni matures from child to adult in a toxic environment within a land she grows to love. Like most Hannah books, she shares their story across several decades making the story complete. I think women would most enjoy this book. The adventure and danger of living in Alaska may make this an enjoyable book for men as well. Going on a long flight, need a beach read, or simply looking for entertainment? Then this is the book to read!
Audible The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas, Novel 4 A young adult novel set in modern times which explores racial prejudice through the eyes of a teenage girl. Angie Thomas did a fantastic job making the characters in this book come to life and relatable. The perspective this story brings to the Black Lives Matter movement helps to see the depth of the issue we face today with racism in America. I’d recommend this book for anyone who wants to understand a young black person’s point of view. It is a story that will help drive discussions around American culture, family, race, prejudice, and respect.
Kindle Just Mercy:  A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stephenson, Non-Fiction/Memoir 5 Recommended by Jamie Ivey’s book club, I could not put this one down. I love non-fiction and memoirs. While this is not Bryan Stephenson’s memoir, it is very personal account of his life’s work. He highlights his greatest accomplishments in civil rights, but the story primarily focuses on the tragedies of our judicial system. The outlook may seem grim, but Stephenson’s spiritual faith guides his life and allows him to show compassion to convicted children, mentally ill, and wrongly accused individuals. I recommend this read to anyone living in America.
Audible Eunice:  The Kennedy Who Change the World by Eileen McNamara, Non-Fiction/Biography 3 I loved this book so much that now if someone were to ask the ever-popular dinner conversation question, “who from the past would I like to have over for a dinner party,” that Eunice Shriver would make my list! I didn’t rate this book all that high because it was a bit dry and long. Listening to it on audible helped because I was able to increase the pace. Had this been written by Eunice herself, I have no doubt that the book would have been rated a 5. I recommend this book for anyone who enjoys learning more about the Kennedy family or wants an example of no-nonsense, get-things-done woman who has had a great impact on our world.
Audible Kind Is the New Classy by Candace Cameron Bure, Memoir/Religious Opinion 3 Candace Cameron Bure is the cutest. She is straight forward and true to herself. This book shows her perspective on being empathetic and always choosing to show kindness which she lovingly refers to as ‘classy.’ I recommend this read to Christian women and any Full House fans who still adore DJ Tanner.
Audible The Magic Tree House Collection:  Books 1-8 by Mary Pope Osborne, Fictional Children’s Books 4 I’m listening to The Magic Tree House series in the car with my kids (4 and 5-year-old boys). It is a hit! I want nothing more than for my kids to have a love a reading. Enjoying these books together as a family on our commute home after school or on a long road trip makes the time fly by and gives us something to explore together. I’m so happy these books can be purchased in bundles on Audible! Each book is ten chapters and about an hour long.
Audible The Total Money Makeover:  A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness by Dave Ramsey, Non-Fiction/Self-Improvement 4 Dave Ramsey is a straight shooter. This was a quick listen and I personally enjoyed how direct he is with the plan to get out of debt. He brakes it down in manageable steps and reinforces there is not an ‘easy’ way out. In a time when purchases are as easy as liking a social media post or waving your phone in front of a scanner this book can really help anyone who struggles with their personal finances. Anyone who struggles with money – managing it, emotionally understanding it, or overspending it – should read this!

 

My Reading List: 2018 July Books

I was able to complete 6 books in July. I wanted to get in 7 or 8 but that didn’t happen. I did read several really awesome books this month. If you are looking for recommendations and interested in prioritizing your reads, here is how I would stack rank them:

1. Carry On
2. Hillbilly Elegy
3. Home Front
4. Unglued
5. The Rock, the Road, and the Rabbi
6. I’ve Been Thinking

2018 July Title, Author, Genre Rating Notes
Kindle Home Front by Kristin Hannah, Fiction 5 I love Kristin Hannah’s books and this one did not disappoint. I finished it on Independence Day which seemed appropriate. While the primary theme in the book is about two married people falling back in love, there are other major themes dealing with modern war, family, and raising young children and pre-teens. It would make an excellent book club read because there are so many conversations that this book evokes. A must read for anyone who has military family/friends, curious about PTSD, or enjoys a page-turner.
Audible I’ve Been Thinking:  Reflections, Prayers, and Meditations for a Meaningful Life by Maria Shriver, Self-Help 3 This makes for a quick easy listen. If you are short on time to listen to books then give this one a try! The way this book is written allows you to easily complete full chapters in small time segments. It is written as if it were meant for audible – sound bites. I wish Shriver would have shared more about her personal struggles but overall, she was encouraging which I believe was her intent with this book. I recommend for the working, God-loving woman.
Kindle Carry On:  A Story of Resilience, Redemption, and an Unlikely Family by Lisa Fenn, Memoir 5 Who doesn’t love a sports story that ends in a ‘win’? This book will make you stop and recognize all your blessings and encourage you that a little effort of giving back can make a difference. This true story is fascinating because of the optimism and bond of two handicapped young men. Fenn explains her journey into understanding their world and becoming their support system as they are launched into adulthood. The themes worth discussing in this book are endless. This is a must read for anyone with a pulse – sports enthusiast or not.
Audible Hillbilly Elegy:  A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance, Memoir 5 Poverty is a real issue that is hard to understand when you are not truly experiencing it. I loved Vance’s description of his own experience and how he overcame it. He challenges one’s perception of poverty which is worth the exploration. Vance provokes the analysis of poverty – why it is hard to overcome, unprejudiced, and influenced by geography. I recommend for all.
Audible The Rock, the Road, and the Rabbi by Rabbi Jason Sobel and Kathie Lee Gifford, Christian, Travel 3 Gifford retells her journey to Israel and explores the Bible’s meaning through the Hebrew culture. I liked listening to this book because it was read by the authors and the passion in the message could be felt. I struggled with focusing at some points because of the depth of understanding one may need about the Bible to entirely stay engaged. Regardless, I found this book intriguing and I overall enjoyed it. I recommend this book to anyone who has an interest in history, Jesus, and understanding the genesis of the stories in the Bible.
Paperback Unglued:  Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa Terkeurst, Christian, Self-Help 4 This book struck a chord with me as a woman, mother, friend, and spouse. The only reason I am not giving it a 5 is because I think men would not relate to the emotions explored in this book. I most enjoyed the actionable steps Terkeurst gives to help overcome the struggle of letting our emotions get the best of us. She shares scripture, science, and her own personal experiences to encourage a healthier and more productive response rather than ‘stuffing’ or ‘exploding.’ A Christian woman who wants to handle her raw emotions with integrity would enjoy this read.

 

Nana: Words I Shared at my Grandmother’s Funeral Service

170Thelma Mae Stockdale, my maternal grandmother who we grandchildren lovingly called Nana, was born March 12, 1927 at 7 a.m. in her grandmother’s house on Port Catto Road in Marshall, Texas.

 

Nana came into this world at a very different time from today. She was born a daughter to Addie Pearl and James Brown and a sister to her big brothers JT and Charlie. As she grew up she formed friendships. She later became wife of Dr. Rider Stockdale of Jasper where she settled down and became mother to Prissy, Becky, and Richard. It was raising her children in Jasper where she formed deep bonds with friends that have lasted her lifetime. She formed deep relationships through parties she and Rider attended or hosted, her children’s friends who she always had open doors for, fishing on the lake or river, and her Bridge groups that kept her entertained.

 

I of course knew her best in her years living in Beaumont and later in Sour Lake with my parents. My memories are vast so I’ll try my best to share some that give insight into the love she had for life, her family, and friends.

 

As a child and even into my early adult years I loved greeting Nana. Her hugs were so full of warmth and sincerity. The embrace always included both arms being stretch fully around one another and my face nuzzled into her shoulder comfortably so that I could catch the scent of her perfume, fresh make-up, and crisp clothes. She was a woman whose hair was always fixed, red lipstick applied, and adorned in the latest fashion for her season of life. She was stunning – mostly her wide smile in her bright red or coral lipstick which complimented her bright red hair.

 

I remember a time sitting around her round kitchen table as she listened to country music on the radio and played a game of solitaire (which she of course taught me to play as well), that she informed me she had always been embarrassed as a child that she had one brown eye and one blue eye. I remember being shocked. My confident, candid grandmother had been unsure at a time. It was just like her to state something so matter-of-fact but then expand on how she overcame this insecurity and it became something she was very proud of as a young adult. This has always stuck with me. She was always full of stories. Once I got past the great detail in which she shared her stories, my interpretation of her stories were always about an experience she overcame or wanted to share to relate. I loved this about her. She was so forthright about many of her experiences – from the hardships of losing her husband and brother to the lighter-good times of road trips and social life with her friend Lea.

 

She was generous too. Whether it was simple like bringing chicken salad to the latest bridge tournament or gifting her children and grandchildren with something of greater expense or time. She was always willing to help and loved seeing others enjoy what she could provide.

 

She loved taking trips with her own grown children, more recently – Alaska, the Caribbean, and Hawaii. She loved reminiscing about past trips.

 

She was a fierce competitor. She was a Life Master in Bridge. Every holiday gathering she would play a game of 42. And she loved to win. Her favorite thing to win at was the penny slot machines in Louisiana. Let me tell you what game wasn’t quite competitive enough for her – my mother’s bunco groups. But she still enjoyed the social aspect and would fill in as a sub when needed. I know my mother’s friends loved having Nana play with them.

 

She loved to have something to look forward – her trips, her grandchildren’s graduations and weddings, and later the arrival of great grandchildren. She confided in my sister-in-law, that she was the only one of all of her friends without great grandchildren. Well within months of saying this she went from gaining her first great grandchild to in five years having nine great grandchildren.

 

Greatgrandchildren meeting their Great Grandparents is special. All boys and one girl. My boys on occasion would speak with her on the phone over one of our weekly calls. She would laugh at their gibberish conversations. Her laugh was always the best. They would play at her feet with toys. She never hesitated to inform me when she was ready for some quiet time. Although her Great-grandchildren are young, they have been impressed by her. Ivan informed Becky that she better, “text God and let Him know that He better have games ready in Heaven.”

 

The past year we were so thankful for the love and attention Nana received at Timber Ridge Nursing home. The staff was so kind and it was always so welcoming. She enjoyed being social and Timber Ridge always had activities and events. She was able to be with some of her acquaintances and friends from when she lived in Jasper.

 

She always had a book nearby, a puzzle going on the card table, a cold drink in the fridge, and an open door. I love and will dearly miss her spirit, laugh, stories, and laid back nature to enjoy a good time. My favorite times with her were at Lake Sam Rayburn as a small child – shelling peas under the carport or hanging out on the water. She was at home in her beloved lake house that she and Rider moved from the river to the lake. The home where they were care-free and saw many generations enjoy. Her own kids’ childhood slumber parties, sorority parties, holiday parties, and family reunion parties. Now she is finally home with her father, mother, brothers, husband and best friend. I am sure they all welcomed her Saturday evening with a great celebration because this is what she loved – cherishing special times with all of those she loved and cared for most.

My Reading List: 2018 June Books

When I finished graduate school, I told myself I was going to do a lot more personal reading. I did so much research and reading while in school. As a young child I used to devour fiction books. So why was it so hard as a young adult to read? I struggled with this for years until I discovered audio books. Once I started listening to audio books it made me more eager to read more books.

 

About two years ago my role at my company changed which meant I’d be on the road driving more. For long drives, I would download and listen to books. Then I began listening to books as I ran. I started training for a half marathon and as my runs got longer I had more time to listen to books. When my role at my company changed a year later, I found myself using audio books to slow down my walks with my dog or pass the time with monotonous chores like folding laundry.

 

Of course, when you read more books, you tend to bring them up in conversation. My husband would always declare, “You didn’t read that book. You listened to that book.” This statement of course led to our debate over how to refer to the way I took in a book. We debated words like absorb, digest, and take in, and eventually landed on consume as the winner. I prefer consumed because you can ‘consume’ a book by reading or listening.

 

Consistently for the past several years, I am consuming about 2-3 books at a time. I do so by departmentalizing my books in the following way:

  • Audible – I use while driving, walking, or doing chores when I’m home alone. I consume all types of books through audible – fiction and non-fiction. However, I tend to be able to actually complete non-fiction books with the use of audible versus when I try to physically read non-fiction. My favorites are the audio books read by the author.
  • Kindle – I use at night in bed. I typically read fiction (historical fiction is my favorite) and autobiographies. I love my kindle because it does not require a light to enjoy so it is not disruptive to others in my environment. Kindle books are great for night time drives when you are the passenger in the car or on airplanes! At times it takes me longer to finish reading on my Kindle because of the need for sleep.
  • Paperback – this is more random but tends to be books that have been loaned to me or more discipline-type of books that would traditionally fall into the ‘self-help’ category – professional development or personal/spiritual development. I typically read these in the morning if I’m eating breakfast alone or before I start my workday. These are great to bring along on errands if I know I will be waiting on an appointment. I like to underline and make notes in these types of books to refer back to at times.

 

Since I enjoy reading and I have a goal to read more books this year than what I read last year, I thought I would share what I finish reading each month.

 

By no means am I a book critic, but I generally have opinions on most of my reads. My goal is to share the book title, how I ‘consumed’ the book, a bit of what the book is about, what I enjoyed, and who I think may also appreciate the read.

 

I’ll include my opinion in the form of a numerical 1-5 rating system as well:

 

1 – I rarely give a book a one. This would indicate that I did not finish it or absolutely did not enjoy or find value in the book.

2 – I struggled to complete the book. A two means that I can see why some may value the read but I personally did not enjoy or value the book.

3 – A three is tricky for me. I finished the book and found it just okay. It means that I may have had a difficult time initially getting into the book, parts of the book, or understanding a character. Perhaps the theme did not dig in deep enough to convey a strong opinion, emotion, or capture the intended purpose of the author.

4 – I get it and genuinely like it. I think others will find value or pleasure in the book because of the story, characters, or message.

5 – I LOVE the book. I believe almost anyone would enjoy this book as well. If you are similar to me then I believe you will LOVE the book as well.

 

So here are the books that I completed in June:

 

2018 June Title, Author, Genre Rating Notes
Kindle We Were the Lucky Ones, by Georgia Hunter, Historical Fiction 5 One of the best WWII books I’ve read because the ending is heartwarming. This book follows a family’s journey through surviving WWII. I recommend this book for anyone looking for a historical novel to devour quickly – great for a long trip, leisure, and the daily read.
Audible No One Ever Asked, by Katie Ganshert, Historical Fiction 4 I had a difficult time getting into this book originally, but after reading a few chapters I began to better relate to the characters. This is a modern take on racism and prejudice based in today’s time. I loved that this book looks at everyday life and the various perspectives of individuals experiencing racism. I recommend this book for mothers, young adult women, and anyone who lives in a town where there are clear socio-economic divides.
Audible We’re Going to Need More Wine for This, by Gabrielle Union, Memoir 4 An unexpected memoir that looks at how growing up as a minority in an affluent neighborhood impacted Gabrielle Union’s life. Throughout her account of her own personal experiences she digs deep into issues of racism, post-traumatic stress, infidelity, and perfectionism. Union’s vulnerability is learned as she experiences life. The rawness of her story makes the reader feel like you are in Union’s inner-circle having a glass of wine and deep conversations.
Audible Kick Ass with Mel Robbins, by Mel Robbins, Self-Help 3 Real people experience real coaching sessions with Mel Robbins. Robbins helps the individuals dig into deep issues to realize why they are ‘stuck.’ The book forces you to consider alternative perspectives to you own struggles by examining another person’s. This book is for anyone who doesn’t want to feel alone in their struggle and wants to dig into their own personal roadblocks that keep you from moving forward.
Audible Girl Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis, Self-Help/Memoir 2 This book is on quite a few of my own personal friend’s reading list. They raved about it. I however found it okay. The first half of the book felt a little surface level to me. I enjoyed Hollis’ vulnerability when she dug into some of her greater challenges in life, but that doesn’t happen until the second half of the book. A young working Christian mother would enjoy this book.

 

The Juxtaposition of Motherhood

A-frame fold, knees bent –  not entirely on the floor so that I’m squatting in the most perfect way that makes running while my feet are grounded, butt in air, and hands are on ground with a Clorox wipe vigorously scrubbing the floor. This would be the second time over that I’ve done this maneuver in an effort to clear the trail of human feces that came from one of my children, which began in our dining room, under the table, on the furthest side away from the nearest bathroom.

This was the scene just this evening, the eve of “Mother’s Day.”

I often laugh to myself at the most random times thinking about the baby showers you go to and the fun little games or notes that ask for ‘advice’ on being a mother. There are so many trite phrases, catch phrases, common phrases, hokey phrases, and even cliché that are offered in times like this. They all are perfect. They are all meaningful. They are all misunderstood until you experience motherhood.

I didn’t even gag as I scooped the poop along the trail, cleaned the brown runny mess down my son’s leg, quickly changed his dirty clothes out for clean undies, and pristinely scrubbed his shorts, him, and myself among the unpleasant stench that filled the narrow bathroom in which this scene unfolded.

That is motherhood.

Don’t get me wrong, I have definitely gagged during some mommy moments, but more frequently than not, the mommy-super-gene kicks in and takes over to make the unimaginable conquerable.

From burping up the milk my sweet infant just drank all over me to projectile vomiting it in a manner that only seems like something made for the movies, it’s all manageable as a mother.

The sleepless nights.

The constant change in schedules.

The energy to keep up.

The change in food preference.

The monitoring of sugar intake.

The teaching manners.

The reading of the same book for 13 days in a row.

The stress of boo-boos.

The redirecting when, well always ….

The temper tantrums.

The judgement of others just by the look in their eyes when you handle said temper tantrums.

The battle over getting dressed and out the door on time.

The worry over whether you introduced too mature of cartoons too soon.

The guilt of being away while at work.

The shame of wishing you were away when you are with them.

The exhaustion of a busy day.

 

This list is not all that motherhood is. This list is only one side of a coin. Motherhood is a juxtaposition. For all the things that seem just awful, horrible, and unimaginable, there is an opposite list that goes on infinitely.

 

The sweet night time cuddles.

The warmth of morning snuggles.

The evolution of one’s self to becoming more adaptable and flexible.

The precious time spent well.

The experience of new tastes on a child’s face – the first try at peas, a lemon, sour candy, ice-cream, or cake.

The consciousness of learning how important health is when you have someone to live for.

The memorization of books leading to a love a language to express their emotions, desires, and opinions.

The kissing, cuddles, and gentleness in caring for bruises, cuts, and scratches.

The lessons in distraction and creativity making you feel like a mastermind of human psychology.

The patience you can experience when you free yourself of control.

The grace and empathy you can provide to others because of your experience.

The joy of seeing your child gain independence in the selection of their clothes that will one day lead to greater choices.

The funny moments when your kid quotes a movie line at an appropriate moment but at the wrong time.

The ability to provide a secure and stable life.

The pleasure you feel when you get to experience all the little moments that add up to the big ones.

The satisfaction in being present, vulnerable, and simply there for your children.

That is motherhood.

I would not trade being a mom for anything. With each day that I experience motherhood, I appreciate my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and mother-in-law more. My journey is just beginning as my boys are five and four. I know that the juxtaposition of motherhood will continue. I also know that the horrible moments don’t compare to that of the wonderful ones.

And thus, is my sage advice for an expecting mother, embrace the mess of it and savor the sweet blessings it brings. There are no words that can prepare or reveal all that motherhood is and has to offer.095

Mantra Motivation

I love mantras. Specifically, I like Dictionary.com’s second definition:  an often-repeated word, formula, or phrase, often a truism.

 

Mantras are memorable. Little catch phrases that spread like wildfire. Small enough to easily store away in memory but big enough to encapsulate an entire story, meaning, or purpose.

 

If it weren’t for mantras, I truly don’t know that the past five years for me would have played out the way in which they have. You see, five years ago I had my first son. It was the mantra made popular by Nike, “Just do it,” that got me through many firsts as a new parent. Nike isn’t the author of, “Just do it,” but they sure did market it!

 

Another favorite that encourages me with getting started on projects, tasks, and chores is “Done is better than perfect.” This one resonated most with me after reading Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In. As someone who some may describe as Type A or a Perfectionist, “Done is better than perfect,” encourages me to “fail fast” (another favorite). When embarking on a new project, task, or chore that seems a bit overwhelming, I remind myself “done is better than perfect,” and before you know it by simply starting and having something to work with or from I typically finish through to a ‘nearly’ perfect state. To which if it isn’t to a ‘nearly’ perfect state, I remind myself, “something is better than nothing.”

 

Chip and Dan Heath helped me understand why I love mantras so much in their book, Made to Stick. They explain how in the military the Commander’s Intent succinctly describes what constitutes success for the operation. It includes the operation’s purpose by linking the mission, concept, and tasks for all subordinate units. As long as the various individuals understand the Commander’s Intent then a mission can successfully be carried out. If an individual was in a questionable situation and must ask, instead of referring to the chain of command for orders, the person simply asks themselves, “If I do X, will it fulfill the Commander’s Intent?” Mantras are not meant to ‘dumb down’ or ‘play down’ the significance in our decisions but rather simplify the complexity and bring clarity.

 

Mantras have always kept me going with challenges I set for myself. “No excuses” and “We all have the same 24 hours,” both kept me motivated in times of physical goals I had set for myself. “No excuses” got me through a 5 am boot camp for a month in 2012. “We all have the same 24 hours,” reminded me of how others I admire or dream to be like must make time for the daily tasks to attain the end result. In 2016 I decided I could not longer use the birth of my children as excuses for my poor health. I used this constant reminder that a day is the same amount of time for everyone to carve out time in my schedule to workout.

 

When the weight of working brings on feelings of guilt for not staying home with my children as babies I remind myself, “This is your life – you only get one.” This may sound crazy but for me I know that I would personally experience greater ‘regret’ had I not gone back to work. I cherish my children and want to savor every minute in their development. I also want to provide the best life and example to them. For me, this means pushing myself professionally. Which included going back to work when they were babies. By simply acknowledging this mantra, “this is my life – I only get one,” I can confidently dismiss my feelings of guilt.

 

The guilt typically strikes when my kids are misbehaving. The next thought that follows is something along the lines of wondering whether my children would be behaving this way if I were a stay at home mother. So after reminding myself, “this is my life – I only get one,” I not only forgive my guilt but also remind myself, “my life is the product of my decisions.” This mantra helps hold myself accountable for my life – yes, even my ill-mannered children. This leads me to better discipline my children or respond in a more appropriate manner rather than shutting down to the present moment by relishing in my guilt.

 

“Fake it until you make it,” isn’t really a favorite but I remind myself of this when I need a boost of confidence, particularly in front of a group. In my career, I give presentations. Great presenters come across confident. Confidence is powerful, attractive, and influential. I want to be a confident person therefore I must ‘act’ like a confident person. So while I do not believe in being ‘fake,’ I do believe in finding a reminder to help with boosting my confidence. Another mantra that I have used for this is WWJD. “What Would Jennifer Do?” I bet you thought I was going to say Jesus. Jesus is a good one to fill in the blank too. However, I use a person I see who exudes the quality or thing I’m trying to do or achieve. When I was a kid, it was my friend Jennifer. She was always so outgoing and friendly. So if I was feeling shy or reserved, I’d tell myself, “WWJD?” As a teacher trying to organize my classroom, I’d ask myself “WWSD, What would Sara do?” She was the most organized teacher I knew! I loved walking into her tidy classroom and marveling at its order. In my home life, when organizing out the overly stuffed toy closet a.k.a. “Monica Closet” (as in the character from the hit TV sitcom, Friends) I channel my friend Alex, “WWAD?” My clothes closet, “WWED, what would Elizabeth do?”

 

“Less is more,” may be my all-time-favorite mantra. It helps me slow down, move on, be more specific, appreciate what I have, fine tune relationships, and well, essentially it is my ‘catch all’ mantra.

 

With this my friends, if you have never embraced the use of mantras, you should. Find several to use for various areas of your life that will make you step up and be the best version of you. Maybe select one per month or per year. “It is never too late,” and “There is no better time than the present” to implement the use of mantras throughout your day. “Just do it.”

The Spirit of Spring: The Secret to Starting

“The law of the harvest is always in effect. What you plant, you must harvest. Furthermore, what you plant consistently overtime eventually yields a compounded or exponential harvest.” – Benjamin Hardy

 

Would you believe me if I said the past several years have been this internal struggle with who I am and what I want. Three years ago, I felt inspired to create or write – what exactly, I wasn’t sure. I scribbled notes and lists and ideas when inspiration would come to me in the back of notebooks. Two years ago, I purchased a blog domain, amndaray.blog. Just this past year, I dabbled in writing – when I say dabble – literally had a burst of inspiration and wrote maybe three things or so, saved them to my computer, in a folder, tucked away for only me. I played with story plots in my mind, lost in my thoughts, but never wrote.

 

I can be a bit ambitious at times. Being afraid of failing at my own expectations must be behind my procrastination. For my two readers (you know who you are if you are still subscribed), today is the day that I post on this half-created blog. I’m posting this with a bigger vision in mind. This is a start. That is the secret – starting. It doesn’t have to be perfect or all perfectly planned out. Stop dwelling. Start.

 

It seems appropriate to spring into action at the same time the flowers are blooming during spring break. Maybe it’s the eventfulness of creatives being in Austin for SXSW. Three years ago, through a project I was on at work, I came across Benjamin Hardy’s blog posts on Medium. I even was selected by him for one-on-one coaching in early 2016. 2016 was a big year for me professionally and Hardy’s nudges were an influence, in addition to my ‘why.’ 2016 was an interesting year, that I may dive into another time, but by the end of it, for various reason, I felt a need for new direction or challenge. Through several events that tested me professionally and personally, 2017 was a time of reflection for me and a different type of growth. It didn’t feel very productive. I sat reflecting and found myself wishing I would have started writing on ‘that’ blog. And here we are, 2018. Hardy published a book, I pre-ordered it, and feel the need to spring into action. For crying out loud, I purchased this blog domain a year and half ago, and it still sits with nothing on it!

 

So today my readers, may the warmth of spring-time-Texas sun, blooming bluebonnets and redbud trees, and this bit of encouragement from me let you know that you can spring into your dreams. Just as a hard freeze won’t keep the hearty redbud and mountain-laurel from blooming, don’t let your own self or daily nagging struggles keep you from blooming. Don’t believe the lies you fool yourself with as truths. Small, baby steps. This I commit to you, to write – not necessarily often or any specific word count. But to write some encouragement and post, to test out this thing I feel oddly ‘called’ to do. My hope is that in my words I can be a ray of light. A bit of inspiration to let you know that one step is a step. And with many small steps, you can go further than not moving at all.

 

If you too want to focus on improving an area of your life, I encourage you to pick up Hardy’s new book, and embrace the Competition.